Saturday, June 1, 2013

Impossible Pace, Inscrutable God

 Sometimes the pace of life seems impossible due to things out of my control, but in the case of the Mother's Day Half Marathon, the pace was within my control, and I chose to go faster than ever before, shaving 6 whole minutes off my previous personal record.  It was all Betsy's fault, really.  If I wanted to carry on conversations with her during the 13.1 miles of running, then I had to keep up with her, and her pace was fast.  I'd like to think I was pushing her, too, though, because she took 8 minutes off her previous half-marathon time!  A sharpening friendship in many ways, this one.  She made me do an "Insanity" workout with her on Thursday morning instead of our usual weekly run, and now I'm sore all over again, and in places I did not know you could be sore.  Anyone ever had sore arches?  Ouch!

You probably can't tell from these next photos, but because of the morning marathon pace, and then sitting still through our church service right afterward, I was SO SORE.  The kids came home from church after the early service and put together an incredible picnic and cookout in the backyard.
 The silk Gerber daisies each had a descriptive word on them ~ 2 from each kid and Robert.  They each told me why they chose the word they did, and it was very sweet.  And it was all very normal until we got to Cooper's word choices for me, one of which was "feng shui." He actually pulled off the explanation and connection pretty well, but I don't think I can actually repeat his sentiments, as they were, you know, unique to Cooper, and everyone knows he is his own man.  Original.  Mold broken.

Let's many takes does it take for a mom to get a decent picture with her kids.  Keep in mind the photographer is a bit reluctant in that capacity as well.
 So, the next time you catch yourself thinking that Facebook or this blog are totally authentic and transparent and also perfectly accurate representations of life around here, and that life is perfect, think again.  This was painful, to say the least.  And I was sore, and therefore grumpy, but we managed to get this next one, which is pretty decent.
 I tortured the whole crew by making them drive a mile to the UMass campus where I had seen these gorgeous blooming trees on my way home from the half-marathon.  Kory got behind the camera, and managed {again, after MANY tries} to get this one.
Mother's Day was three days before my last day of teaching Challenge I for the year.  It was a grueling day of final exams.  These poor kids had to sit for FIVE final exams in the subjects of algebra, Latin, physical science, government, and philosophy. Their brains were fried by 3pm. Good thing a couple of their moms planned a hike at the end of the day complete with ice cream sundaes waiting at the top of the mountain!  I managed to catch half the class on the way up.  These are really wonderful, bright, kind kids who know how to make me laugh and have tons of fun.  I so enjoyed having them in class and am very thankful that Cooper was surrounded by such incredible peers this year.
Then, the very next day, quite early in the morning, we packed him a couple of breakfast sandwiches, and sent Kory off to Cooperstown, NY with his team to play baseball at Doubleday Field at The Baseball Hall of Fame.  We followed a couple of hours later, to watch Amherst play rival team Northampton on this historic field in the birthplace of baseball ~ a very special opportunity for everyone!

 Baseball, baseball, everywhere!  Loved it!

We walked around town and got coffee before making the three hour trek home.  Kory and his team were treated to dinner on their way home at a place called Red Neck BBQ.  In upstate New York. MmmmHmmm. Yep.  His only comment was "It wasn't Rudy's."  
A couple of weeks later it was "Senior Night" at a home game.  Seniors were introduced and given engraved commemorative Doubleday Field bats, the college they would be attending was announced, moms got a hug and a rose, and then we won the game.  Great night except for the frigid temps. 40 degrees and windy.  I wore wool socks, a scarf, mittens, and wrapped up in a blanket. Football weather.  Not baseball weather.  Brrrrrr.....
 And somewhere in the middle of all of that, Robert took a team of 17 folks from our church to the Dominican Republic for a week long mission trip. He says it was the best, most successful, meaningful mission trip he's ever been on. They went mainly to begin construction on a cistern and water system for a village and community outside of Santo Domingo.
You can only see a small fraction of it, but they dug a huge hole that is now being lined with cement and used to collect water that will soon be used, via a new pump system, to take water to about 100 families in the community.  They also participated in a couple of church services where Robert preached through an interpreter {one of the guys from our church!} and a few from our church group shared testimonies of God's work in their lives. They did find a bit of time to hang out at a nearby resort, and he tortured me by posting photos of himself on a white sand beach with crystal clear blue water.  Cold and grey here the whole time he was gone. He came home very tired, but very encouraged by all that the Lord had accomplished in the time there.

I'm still reading through the Bible from cover to cover for the first time, and I've made it to Isaiah, which I really can't read without a commentary nearby, but still, I love it.  Two days ago I landed on chapter 40 which you probably know with its many often-quoted verses.  These are the ones that struck me this time...

Why do you say, O Jacob, and assert, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the Lord, and the justice due me escapes the notice of my God."? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired.  His understanding is inscrutable.
Isaiah 40: 27-28

As I said before, this blog is often-times a shiny, glowing facade of the nitty-gritty real life that truly goes on around here.  Truth be told, there was conflict over going to Cooperstown, there was conflict over the trip to the D.R., there were lots of tears, revealed fears, deep disappointments, and weeks of relational strain both in and out of this house, and financial struggle was just the icing on the cake of stress and tension and misunderstandings around here.

For one of the first times in a very long time, I wondered if God even cared.  If He could even see my obvious need for justice {in my favor and on my behalf, of course}, my faithfulness, my obedient kindness, and my generosity which rightly and obviously deserved reward.

I hope you can hear the sarcasm.

Unfortunately, those were real, non-sarcastic thoughts before I read those words in Isaiah.

The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired.  His understanding is inscrutable.

Not only does He see.  Not only does He care.  He understands me and the goings-on of my seemingly impossibly-paced life better than I do.  His understanding is inscrutable.  It is deep and purposeful and mysterious and good and can not always be understood by me. As hard as I might try and scrutinize it, study it, figure it out, pin it simply can not be fully scrutinized here.

But it can be trusted.

I'm praying that He will strengthen me to entrust myself to that truth, and in the mean time I'll keep posting and writing about the many gifts and joys that He so graciously and generously allows in my undeserving life.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wonderful photos!:)Love, K&J