Thursday, February 28, 2013

Unaccepted Apologies = Unhappiness {Lent Day #16}

She emailed me in her grief and asked if I'd pray.  She had said things not intended for certain ears, but those ears eventually heard and they were hurt.  So hurt and angry that they refused to forgive.  My friend tried several ways of reaching out and admitting her fault and expressing sorrow for what she'd said, but her efforts were refused, balked at even.  An olive branch of a package was even sent, and my friend is hoping it will soften a heart and restore a friendship, but she was feeling hopeless about the outcome when she wrote.

My friend is not happy.  She is deeply grieved over what she has done and doubly grieved by the unaccepted apology.

It made me think of this:

How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered!
How blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit!
Psalm 32:1-2

Exclamation points! Happy!  That's what "blessed" means.  That's the English translation of the Hebrew word "esher."  I thought I had learned that somewhere before, and I thank Blue Letter Bible for confirming it today.

HAPPY is the person who has been forgiven!  SAD is the person whose sins are held against them {or whose sins are never mentioned...but that truth comes later in the Psalm}.  That's just how our hearts work, because His law is written on them. Thankfully Christ has made provision for the unhappy state of our hearts by offering forgiveness at the Cross ~ especially when people do not.

Lord, I'm sorry today for...

my negative attitude
my grabbing at control
my thinking I can control things better than You
my lack of trust
my refusal to think on Truth
my excessive focus on self
my reluctance to serve
my working against my husband rather than for and with him at times
my sometimes cold heart toward Your church and Your people
my squelching of Your Spirit
my unwillingness to do the hard work of forgiveness {when You give it so abundantly...}
my always wanting more
my lack of compassion and grace
my lack of gratitude
my worry, my pride, my judgments
my withholding of relationship
my questioning of Your love and Your good plan
my resisting the call to motherhood and homeschooling
my gossip, slander, disdain...

Thank you for not leaving me in the unhappy state of guilt and sadness that these things lead to.  Your grace and forgiveness make provision for a free and happy heart.  I've taken that truth for granted, and I'm sorry.

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